The Control Zone – A Lesson on my Own Teaching Point…
That’s me. No makeup and working on my website at a friend’s house. It started in Ontario, California at a truck stop. If you are reading this and haven’t stopped in on my website in a while, you might be wondering “What the heck?” I teach what I do. Right now, I’m focusing on the Control Zone. As for why it is a priority right now, the story goes something like this…
A few months ago, my host service needed me to move my website. They helped me go through all the technical process which took a couple weeks because of my limited access to wifi. But as we went to take the site live again, they informed me that I had malware. I had put all the recommended security bells and whistles on my site, but somehow it got through. Fixing it would take a lot of time, AND a lot of money. Because we couldn’t tell “when” the malware had taken hold, going back to on one of my backups wouldn’t work.
Things got worse before they got better. Not only had they added malware, but my site was targeted by hackers (may or may not have been the same folks) and were trying to sign in hundreds of times a day to take over my website (to date nearly 9000 times).
I have been through the range of emotions. I was angry that I had to deal with this. I was angry that “they” picked on a “little guy.” I’m just a gal trying to do the right thing and make a buck by doing the right thing. Why can’t they go pick on businesses that can afford this drama and have the resources to fix it? I was overwhelmed with how much work I would have to do to rebuild my site. I do it myself. In the past, I have paid people and have been sorely let down. I love technology, I love to be creative. So now I do it myself. And the prospect of how much work I would have to do when I can only get wifi an hour or so a day reduced me to tears. I wondered, “Is this a sign I should give up?” Was this the last thing in a long line of events including a motorcycle accident a few years back that have made me feel like I was in a live version of “whack a mole,” and I was the mole.
So I cried for a day. Well…not all day, but off and on. And I didn’t do any work. I just thought about things. Then that night I went to bed. Sleep…sleep is an AMAZING reframer. For me, it has always worked to get some rest, and then see how I feel after a good night sleep. More often than not, things don’t seem as overwhelming the next day. That’s what happened this time too. So I went to work at rebuilding the site.
Most of the work so far has been the behind the scenes part. Since I was starting over, I searched for a new theme (how the website is laid out), got better security (it cost me, but so worth it), got new photos (to reflect I now wear my natural white hair), reviewed my programs, and finally refined which programs I would now offer.
In the end, it was an exercise in focusing on what you can control versus what you can’t. I teach this. If you’ve been to my programs, you likely remember it. It’s one of my favorite points and my best points.
I can’t control that I got malware.
I can control getting better security.
I can’t control that I lost the website.
I can control rebuilding it.
I can’t control that I’m a cryer. (Yes…I said that. There are many speakers that will tell you that you can change every negative thing about yourself. Some things are harder to change than to work around.) So…
I can control giving myself a day to feel and deal with frustration and regroup.
Heck…I can’t control that my hair went white LOL, but…
I can control whether I want to color it or not. The truth is, I think my white hair is really pretty. Not everyone agrees with me. Some friends remember me as a blond, redhead, or brunette (I tried them all), and want me to go back. I won’t.
I can’t control what they think.
I can control whether I let it bug me.
So there you have examples of the lesson. You can control what you think and do. You can’t control what others think and do. And there are hundreds of options in your own reactions. Many times, there’s more than one right way.
For me, the right thing is to rebuild my site, finish my book (books actually, I’m working on several), and focus on my seminars and speeches. Go find me on social media…I’m able to stay pretty active on that due to a great data plan. Click here and go to the bottom of the page for my links. I look forward to the next Madventure we get into together.